"I was surprised by how many mean comments childfree women receive..."

“There’s a strong norm that children and grandchildren should take care of you when you get older. We wanted to investigate how childfree women themselves reflect on this,” says Merve Tunçer, researcher in sociology at Örebro University.

Together with Helen Peterson, professor of sociology at Örebro University, she has interviewed childfree women aged 35–60 in Sweden. The study is based on qualitative interviews about the decision to remain childfree, the reactions of those around them, and their thoughts about the future.

Warnings about loneliness

A recurring theme among the women interviewed is that they receive questions and comments about the risk of loneliness in old age.

“They often encounter warnings that they will regret their decision or become lonely as they grow old. This is based on the notion that children automatically provide security and care,” says Merve Tunçer.

One of the interviewees was told, “Congratulations on your choice of a lonely old age.”

“I was surprised by how many mean comments childfree women receive from people, even though I knew they were a stigmatised group.”

In the interviews, the women describe how such comments are rooted in traditional, gendered family norms in which children are seen as a natural part of later life. At the same time, they point out that many older people today struggle with loneliness despite having children.

“Several of the women question the idea that children are, in themselves, a guarantee against loneliness. They argue that children do not automatically prevent loneliness and that the generational contract does not always work as parents hope," says Merve Tunçer.

Building other forms of community

Instead of assuming that children should be the primary source of security in old age, the women describe how they invest in other relationships. These may be close friendships, relationships with siblings, other family members or neighbours – what they sometimes refer to as ‘chosen kin’.

“The women describe how they actively build and nurture other relationships as a proactive strategy to prevent loneliness in old age, rather than relying on children. It’s their way of creating community without being dependent on children,” says Merve Tunçer.

According to the researchers, the study contributes to broadening our understanding of what ageing can look like in a society where family norms are changing, and more people are choosing to remain childfree.

“To meet future challenges related to loneliness and care, we need to be able to imagine more ways of living and ageing than the traditional ones. This is important, especially now, when the pro-natalist discourse seems to be making a comeback,” says Merve Tunçer.