Henrique: Friendships in time and place

Let me start by saying that I came to Sweden knowing that I would need to find new friends. And I came knowing that not any kind of relationship grows out of expectations, but out of an active effort to understand and be present for each other. It requires some openness and patience to understand each other, even more so in this particular experience where I was able to meet people from all around the world. 🗺️

It may sound tricky to meet new friends when everyone is expected to act so differently, but one of my first close friends over here just asked if I wanted to join her grocery shopping. We both eventually got used to messaging one another to do it and soon she was asking “Hey, do you want to take some photos of me?”. And here she is:

Another friend was just going to stay for a few months. As he came a little late, the friend circles were starting to stabilize and it seemed that he wanted to meet new friends as well, so I invited him to most stuff that I was going to do with other people. Even with just 3 months around we got very close and it was unexpected to realize that we have some things in common. Here is a portrait of a not rare Brazilian hug moment. 🫂

Those two friends were living in the same student housing as me, so you can tell that it was easier to maintain contact and plan a routine with them, but there are different cases. 

Later due to some group activities that I volunteered to help with, I got closer to a small group of friends. I think we didn’t have that much in common, but we were equally open to know more about each other and to meet again just because we get along well. Eventually we were planning meetings, throwing snowballs at each other and if picking up some mushrooms in a forest is necessary, let's do it. Nothing more Swedish, I guess. 🍄

(special mention that I think I got them used to hugging whenever we meet or when we are about to leave… I’m just Brazilian 🤷🏽) 

Everyone that I met had an entire world of their own to deal with. Some had some issues in common that made us connect, some, as long as we met, didn’t connect with me at all, and some supported me through the worst moments.

Many friends will depart soon, but I try to keep contact because I feel it is worth it. We are just waiting for the next meeting.

Don’t rush things, be patient and remember: relationships happen in place and in time.