Henrique: Solitude - Learning to find your peace

Or maybe the real question is “How much can you deal with yourself when you don’t have people around you?”. I’ve been questioning this even before I came to Sweden. I wouldn’t say I am the most needy person, but I like being around people and I had my routine very well established before I came.

Working, playing games, singing, cycling from one place to another, grocery shopping. All those things have a socialization need or intent. You know the drill, you want to share stuff you accomplished with some friends, the feeling you have when you make a room laugh, posting stuff in social media, measuring likes. Here I’m having the opportunity to step aside from those things.

Solitude by the definition is “the quality or state of being alone or remote from society”. It is similar, but differs from loneliness, which is a feeling or condition of being alone. Solitude is about feeling well with your own company and is something we all will need to deal with eventually in life. 🧘🏽

We already know Sweden is a place known for an individualistic focused society, which displays very often that feeling of loneliness. In my experience, most Swedes expect and are expected to deal alone with their own struggles. Not rarely you won’t see your friends around that much, or even if you meet, the conversations won’t go that deep, because everyone is worried about stepping on each other's toes. It is not like people don't care, but their experience shows that normally things will settle and people will learn by themselves.

Besides that, let me tell you something. I feel not everyone here deals really well with those conditions. I found out some people feel a need to share, to be with someone, in places that are filled with more people or to feel the connections. 🔗

Trying to distance myself from those connections may be scary. No one wants their friends to ‘forget’ them, or to feel that you don’t know about something that is happening right now. Being in Sweden for almost 2 years I’ve been facing many of those fears and maybe just now I’ve been really dealing with this. It is an individual battle, yes, but let me give you some tips. 🎸

Listen to yourself, your body and how you interact with things. Try to be more sensible about things you need and that you can provide for yourself. Art may be the best way to express what you want to say, so I really recommend you find your art. Dance, sing, write, act, take pictures and find ways to allow yourself to be a fool and laugh about yourself for a while.

Don’t be afraid to feel lonely. Take a slow breath, walk outside for a while if needed, but be patient. Remember, it is impossible to be really alone in a society, but if needed, find your joy in it. 🙏🏽